Lament I (or "Bitter Revelation")

I want a girlfriend, who's cheery and sweet,

A girlfriend who’s friendly to all that she meets.

I want a girlfriend, with sharp wit and spunk,

A girlfriend who’s crazy for me, not some hunk.

I want a girlfriend, who’s buxom and funny,

A girlfriend who’s cute without lots of money.

I’ll have a girlfriend, who follows me ever,

Who’ll tell me stories and jokes that are clever.

I’ll have a girlfriend that likes to do what I do,

Who’ll play as an equal and, hell, win a bit too.

I’ll have a girlfriend with good virtues galore,

Who’ll be sensitive, discreet, kind, and more.

I need a girlfriend, who’ll hold me close,

Will whisper sweet comforts far longer than most.

I need a girlfriend with a welcoming embrace,

To render sympathy, and dry tears from my face.

I need a girlfriend to hold me quite tight,

Who’ll rock back and forth and proclaim “it’s all right”.

I need a girlfriend who’s more friend than girl,

To find one like that I’ll must search the whole world.